We spent three weeks and way too much money eating our way through Topgolf’s entire menu, and some of these discoveries will change how you order forever. Here’s the brutal truth about what’s worth your hard-earned cash and what you should avoid at all costs.
The Appetisers That Hit Different
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The loaded nachos are the gold standard that every other sports bar wishes they could copy. These aren’t your sad movie theatre nachos – we’re talking about a mountain of crispy chips drowning in real cheese, topped with perfectly seasoned ground beef, fresh jalapeños, and sour cream that doesn’t taste like it came from a squeeze bottle. The portion is massive enough to feed three people, but good luck sharing once you start eating.
The wings deserve serious recognition, especially the Nashville Hot flavour that brings actual heat without being a gimmicky pain contest. The chicken is juicy, the coating stays crispy even after sitting for a few minutes, and the blue cheese dressing is thick enough to coat the wings properly. Skip the mild buffalo, though – it tastes like ketchup with hot sauce mixed in.
However, stay far away from the spinach and artichoke dip. For $12, you get a lukewarm bowl of what tastes like melted cream cheese with some green stuff mixed in. The tortilla chips that come with it are stale half the time, and the whole experience feels like something you’d get at a gas station convenience store.
The Burgers That Actually Matter
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The Topgolf Burger isn’t just marketing hype – it’s legitimately one of the better burgers you’ll find at any sports entertainment venue. The beef patty is thick, juicy, and cooked to the right temperature, while the brioche bun holds everything together without falling apart halfway through. The bacon is crispy, the cheese is melted perfectly, and the special sauce adds just enough tang without overpowering everything else.
The BBQ Bacon Burger deserves an honourable mention for anyone who likes their food with some personality. The barbecue sauce is smoky without being too sweet, and they don’t skimp on the bacon like most places do. The onion rings on top add a nice crunch that complements the soft bun texture.
But here’s where things get disappointing – the Impossible Burger tastes exactly like every other plant-based burger you’ve tried. It’s not bad, but for the premium price, you’re paying for the novelty. The texture is close to beef, but the flavour is bland and needs way more seasoning to be interesting.
The Entrées Worth Your Time
The Fish and Chips surprised us more than any other item on the menu. The fish is flaky white cod with a light, crispy batter that doesn’t taste greasy or heavy. The fries are thick-cut and seasoned with something that tastes like Old Bay but better. The tartar sauce is creamy and tangy, not that weird, sweet stuff most places serve.
The Chicken Tenders are what every other restaurant’s tenders wish they could be. These are actual chicken breast strips, not processed mystery meat, with a seasoned coating that has some serious flavour. The honey mustard dipping sauce is the perfect balance of sweet and tangy, and the portion size is generous enough to satisfy even the hungriest golfer.
Avoid the Grilled Chicken Sandwich unless you enjoy eating cardboard. The chicken breast is dry, the seasoning is nonexistent, and the toppings can’t save what’s essentially a boring piece of protein on a bun. For the same price, get the chicken tenders and be happy.
The Sides That Make or Break Your Meal
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The loaded fries are worth the upcharge from regular fries. They come topped with cheese sauce, bacon bits, and green onions that actually taste fresh. The fries underneath stay crispy despite all the toppings, which is harder to achieve than most people realise. These are substantial enough to be a meal on their own if you’re not super hungry.
The mac and cheese is comfort food done right, with a creamy cheese sauce that tastes like it was made from scratch, not powder. The pasta is cooked properly – not mushy, not undercooked – and the breadcrumb topping adds a nice textural contrast. This is the kind of side dish that makes you forget you’re at a sports bar.
The coleslaw, however, is aggressively mediocre. It’s not bad enough to send back, but it’s not good enough to order again. The cabbage is fresh, but the dressing is too sweet and lacks the tanginess that makes coleslaw interesting. Skip it and get extra fries instead.
The Desserts That Are Worth the Calories
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The Chocolate Chip Cookie Skillet is the dessert that converts sceptics into believers. This isn’t some reheated cookie from a package – it’s a warm, gooey chocolate chip cookie baked in a cast iron skillet and served with vanilla ice cream that melts into all the right places. The cookie has crispy edges and a soft centre, and the chocolate chips are real chocolate, not those weird artificial bits.
The Churros with chocolate dipping sauce are surprisingly authentic for a sports bar dessert. The churros are crispy on the outside, fluffy on the inside, and covered in cinnamon sugar that doesn’t taste artificial. The chocolate sauce is warm and rich, not that thin syrup most places serve.
Don’t bother with the cheesecake unless you’re really desperate for dessert. It’s frozen cheesecake that’s been thawed, with a texture that’s simultaneously dense and watery. The Graham cracker crust tastes stale, and the berry topping is obviously from a can.
The Drinks That Enhance the Experience
The craft beer selection is better than expected, with several local options that pair well with the food. The Topgolf Lager is light and refreshing, perfect for hot days when you’re swinging clubs and don’t want something too heavy. The IPA selection includes some hoppy options that cut through the richness of the loaded nachos or burgers.
The signature cocktails are hit or miss, but the Topgolf Mule is legitimately good. It’s a proper Moscow Mule with real ginger beer, fresh lime, and quality vodka served in a copper mug. The ginger bite is strong enough to be interesting without being overwhelming.
Skip the frozen drinks unless you’re into overly sweet slushies. The margaritas taste like they came from a mix, and the daiquiris are adult snow cones. Stick to beer or the signature cocktails for the best experience.
The Hidden Menu Hacks That Change Everything
Ask for extra sauce on literally everything – the kitchen is generous with portions but conservative with condiments. The ranch dressing is particularly good and makes even the mediocre items more enjoyable. Most servers are happy to bring extra without charging, especially if you’re ordering multiple items.
The kitchen can modify most items if you ask nicely. Want your burger cooked differently? No problem. Need the wings extra crispy? They’ll make it happen. The key is asking when you order, not after the food arrives.
If you’re there during happy hour, the appetiser portions are the same size as regular portions but cost significantly less. The nachos during happy hour are a full meal for the price of a side dish.
Your Topgolf Food Game Plan
Stick to the classics – nachos, wings, burgers, and chicken tenders – and you’ll have a great meal that enhances your golf experience instead of distracting from it. The food is better than it has any right to be for a place where the main attraction is hitting golf balls at giant targets.
